anonymous

Anonymous

BAD NASCAR TATTOOS

Posted 07/21/09 at 2:00 PM PDT by steve.wingate | Email This |

According to my Uncle Dennis, who acquired his tattoos while on shore leave during the Vietnam War, nobody ever got a tattoo while sober. I believe Uncle Dennis's words still ring true today - especially when it comes to the fans who got the NASCAR tattoos pictured below.

NASCAR Tattoo Disaster #1: Primary Colors
Anyone who knows anything about NASCAR knows most drivers go ride-hopping every five or six years - some more frequently depending on how much they suck.  With the exceptions of Richard Petty, Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt Sr., the list of drivers who flew the same colors for more than 10 years is very short.  Therefore, it would seem wise to exercise a little caution when selecting a design to have etched permanently onto your head.

Glad I was not the one who had to tell this guy Dale Earnhardt Jr. switched teams, cars and colors.  Oh well, at least he can grow hair over it. Probably.

With a car number, the fix is easier and less painful. 

However, a car number by itself presents another problem:

A Kyle Busch fan might mistake this for a Dale Earnhardt Jr. tattoo and start something with this obviously half-human Dale Jarrett fan.

NASCAR Tattoo Disaster #2: Mutant Drivers

I don’t know if it’s the area of the body or poor artistic execution that makes this otherwise skillful portrait of Dale Earnhardt Sr. look like an eggheaded alien.  It's The Intimidator, not The Eggsterminator.  

Take away the hat, shades, uniform and logo and this Earnhardt tattoo looks more like Freddie Mercury.

The one above is a pretty good rendering of Tony Stewart - if Stewart had a goiter, a runaway thyroid and a case of the mumps.

Although I have never studied Kyle Petty's teeth, I am pretty sure they don't sweep to the left.

NASCAR Tattoo Disaster #3 Jeff Gordon Backwards Muffin Top Tattoo


Eww.  No further comment.

NASCAR Tattoo Disaster #4: The All-Purpose Dale Jr. Tattoo

For the Dale Earnhardt Jr. fan who wants versatility in his body art, here is a tattoo that says "I urinate off the porch in broad daylight."  This tattoo also goes well with Hank Williams Jr. and John Deere t-shirts

Related links:

Best NASCAR pickup lines

Best comic book superhero racecar drivers

NASCAR-themed summer blockbusters

New NASCAR romance novels hit shelves

NASCAR paint-scheme FAIL

Signs you're at a bad NASCAR-themed wedding

The least popular words in motorsports

Great moments in rain-delay history

Six reasons to watch NASCAR from home


Tags:

1 Comments

GearHead (not verified)3 years ago

I have a tattoo of Sebastien Bourdais on my penis.

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd><blockquote></blockquote>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • Pairs of<blockquote> tags will be styled as a block that indicates a quotation.

More information about formatting options

CAPTCHA
This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
Image CAPTCHA
Copy the characters (respecting upper/lower case) from the image.

Featured Stories
 
JEFF GORDON: NASCAR'S GAME-CHANGING DRIVERJEFF GORDON: NASCAR'S GAME-CHANGING DRIVER
//MORE


2,162 views

 
SUNDAY THE GIANT KILLERS PREVAILEDSUNDAY THE GIANT KILLERS PREVAILED
//MORE


620 views

 
WHY KURT BUSCH IS GOOD FOR NASCARWHY KURT BUSCH IS GOOD FOR NASCAR
//MORE


1,530 views

 
'SHUT UP & DRIVE" HE SAID!'SHUT UP & DRIVE" HE SAID!
//MORE


2,628 views

 
EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT KYLE BUSCH WELLEXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT KYLE BUSCH WELL
//MORE


1,366 views

 

Hot Links 

Patrick may jump to NASCAR full-time (LA Times)  

Hot Links 

SI.com
LOL race pics
The NASCAR Insiders
MoonDog Sports
Just a Guy Thing
Men's Guide
Funny Stuff
Funny Videos
MMA News
Shocking Videos
Movie Reviews
Modern Man
Money Tips
MANVITE 
Time Wasters
Dave and Thomas
Check out our NASCAR crashes
Technorati Profile
Add to Technorati Favorites