Jack Roush lives in Michigan. Jack Roush loves Michigan. Jack Roush needs the Carfax 400 Sunday. Dude survived a plane crash. He also saw a Toyota win at MIS in June, which stunk for me having written a patriotic column that week.  

Down a fake $175 after my Watkins Glen plan went astray, I need the Carfax 400 as well.  And since I believe in karma, I believe good things will happen for a Michigan man at Michigan International Speedway. Here’s where my fake American paper notes are going.

10 fake dollars on Carl Edwards and Greg Biffle at 15/1
Edwards has the best average track finish at MIS. Biffle ended Ford’s streak of sucktitude two weeks ago and ran well at Watkins Glen.  Viva the new Ford engine at a full throttle track.  And in honor of said engine, here’s a crappy Toby Keith song that will stick in your skull for hours on end.

10 fake dollars on Tony Stewart at 12/1: So I’m writing a column about Jack Roush and not picking Matt Kenseth at 20/1. I really wish Whopper Man would win so I can stop picking him. You’re not going Kevin Harvick on me Tony. Not now. Not ever.

20 fake dollars on Denny Hamlin at 7/1: The only dime I would put on David Ragan involves Ragan playing tonsil hockey with a NASCAR groupie. And even then, I think I would put that dime on Kasey Kahne. And even then, I don’t bet fake dollars on dudes courting ladies.

Hamlin won the June race.  And while I wrote an entire column on how I can’t pick a Toyota at Michigan International Speedway, Captain FedEx has  numbers that should deliver. Get it, a delivery joke to improve NASCAR’s sponsorship and branding efforts. Chuckles galore.

I want Jack Roush to enjoy Sunday. I’m not sure he will. But at least the Lions aren’t out of the playoff hunt yet. So here’s what The Spread thinks, and insert random catchphrase here.

Jimmie Johnson 4/1
Denny Hamlin 7/1
Kurt Busch 8/1
Jeff Gordon 10/1
Kyle Busch 10/1
Kevin Harvick 12/1
Tony Stewart 12/1
Carl Edwards 15/1
Greg Biffle 15/1
Kasey Kahne 15/1
Jeff Burton 15/1
Clint Bowyer 20/1
Juan Pablo Montoya 20/1
Matt Kenseth 20/1
Jamie McMurray 30/1
Joey Logano 30/1
Martin Truex Jr 30/1
David Reutimann 30/1
Mark Martin 30/1
Dale Earnhardt Jr 40/1
Ryan Newman 40/1
AJ Allmendinger 60/1
Reed Sorenson 100/1
David Ragan 100/1
Marcos Ambrose 100/1
Sam Hornish Jr 100/1
Brad Keselowski 100/1
Regan Smith 100/1
Paul Menard 100/1
Scott Speed 100/1
Bobby Labonte 100/1
Travis Kvapil 100/1
Elliott Sadler 100/1
Field (Any Other Driver) 100/1