CARL EDWARDS GETS RAW

What a great way to prep for the Daytona 500.

Six days before the biggest race of the year, Carl Edwards will deal with a bunch of sweaty men who wear tights. No, he’s not going to karaoke with Michael Waltrip’s pit crew. Edwards will serve as guest host of WWE “Monday Night Raw.”

Edwards is the third NASCAR driver to host the show, which gives us some perspective to help make this experience as enjoyable as possible for Captain Aflac.

Remember your lines
Kyle Busch and Joey Logano were more flustered than Scott Speed on a lead lap. In fact, Busch mistook Jimmie Johnson for Kofi Kingston.  I know HBO is following JJ around 24/7, but Kyle, you’ve got to get it in gear.

 
Note to WWE writing staff: keep it simple unless Ryan Newman is hosting.
 
Keep Leaping Lanny Poffo out of the building
In wrestling lingo, Leaping Lanny Poffo was “a jobber.” That’s the guy who always got his clock cleaned by the top-tier guys. Before getting beat to a pulp, Lanny read poetry off the back of a Frisbee and then threw his art into the crowd.
 
Last time Edwards was near a Frisbee, he broke a bone in his foot. No need to go Denny Hamlin on everybody before the 500.  (Editor’s note: The stuff between Bobby The Brian and Slick is just plain WTF. Lanny is at the 3:00 mark.)
 
 
Do get escorted to the ring
I learned last night the Bella Twins have one job and one job only. Hang out with the guest host. Now I can understand why Edwards wants to guest host a wrestling show.

 

Don’t get in the ring
Previous hosts of the show, even Bob Barker, have gotten physical with some of the wrestlers. For some, this has gone great. For others, this has wreaked of suckitude. If Edwards wants to get inside the ring, the time to do so was December. If he or Jack Roush have any questions, look at these videos.

 
Good think Aflac sponsors Edwards. He might need it after Monday night.