Hey racing fans, Carl Edwards here for another addition of Carl’s Corner. This weekend marks the first time back at Atlanta since I flipped Brad Keselowski end over end in the spring race. Since that altercation, many slanderous things have been written about me and my "rage issues." Kevin Harvick even called me a "fake". Nothing makes me angrier than hearing lies spread about me, espcially lies that aren’t true. Just thinking about lies makes me so upset that I want to… Sorry, I promised myself not to get too angry while writing this colunm.
I’d like to spend a few minutes clearing up the misconceptions about me, my feud with Brad and people’s misconceptions about my "rage" issues.
Misconception #1: I’m Angry All the Time
I don’t know where people get the impression that I’m ticking time bomb of rage just waiting to snap and go Bizerker. I’m a really happy guy.
People like being around me. I’m the life of the party. Yes, I tried to punch my teammate in the face on national TV. Yes, I tried to choke out Kevin Harvick for calling me names. And yes, I showed no remorse for wrecking Keselowski and putting him in mortal danger. The people who think I’m angry should just shut their faces… their fat, Keselowski-loving faces. Why am I the jerk? How many people do I need to punch to make you see I’m the victim?
Look at this picture:
Would an angry man let a Froggy get that close to his car? I rest my case.
Misconception #2: I’m a Fake
Kevin Harvick calls me a fake? First of all, when I hear the name "Kevin Harvick" I’m blinded with so much rage I can’t even think straight. A ‘fake?’ Can a ‘fake’ do a backflip out of a car? Can a ‘fake’ bench press two hundred pounds forty-four times in a row? Would somone who’s fake look so good without a shirt on? Case closed, the jury rules in favor of me, the handsome guy that smilies a lot to hide the pain and anger in my heart.
Misconception #3: I like to Pose Without My Shirt On
Shirts are so itchy, so tight and there are too many kinds: T-shirts, long sleeve T-shirts, dress shirts, T-shirts that look like tuxedo shirts… the list goes on and on). Make up your mind shirts! Just pick one kind of shirt and be like that all the time! Ahhh! Shirts you make me so angry [sound of Carl ripping off his own shirt] Take that shirt! I’ll punch you in the face like you were Matt Kenseth. I WILL DESTROY YOU!… sorry… real sorry about that. I got a little worked up, but I kept my temper under control.