DALE JR. MOONSHINE MERCH ON AMAZON.COM

Dale Earnhardt Junior fans had plenty of reasons to get well hydrated this season. Now, they have a new instrument to help forget a less than memorable 2009.

A 64-ounce moonshine still dispenser adorned with the #88 is now available to hold your favorite beverage, even those mastered by great Americans like Uncle Jesse from "The Dukes of Hazzard."

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The moonshine still dispenser conforms to the size of most mason jars, which those with an affinity for making illegal alcohol tend to use as part of their concoction crafting. The $48.00 of discretionary income gone wrong even includes a copper finish (please don’t try and melt it down for scrap, as the renegade copper market isn’t what it once was.) Such an added hint of class should come as no surprise since the manufacturer also makes crystal goblets, silver-plated jewelry boxes, and other items one would find at the home of Judge Smails.

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For those who think the entire product might be a great inside joke, consider three things. For starters, the 64-ounce moonshine still dispenser (it really is fun to type) is available through Amazon Prime, which means free shipping two-day shipping. Also, there is only a 4% discount on this bastion of home décor. And what is most amazing/odd/borderline WTF, only four of the 64-ounce moonshine still dispensers are available; so, by the time you read this, the item will probably be on back order.

Dale Jr. has plenty of history with hydration. Before having Amp as a primary sponsor, he made millions donning various forms of Budweiser gear on his body and car. Since leaving suds for the sugary stuff, NASCAR’s most popular driver has one win and many reasons to consume the substance one would find in such still dispensers should that kind of liquid be legal. If the #88 can 86 the bad karma of this season, his fans will rejoice, some of whom will do so through the elimination of bank robbery from their behavior patterns. If things continue to stray south, at least they can enjoy the sauce with sass, 64 ounces of capitalism that would even get a smile out of the sternest of lawmen.

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