DANICA PATRICK HAS SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH JENNIFER ANISTON

It seems that Danica Patrick has plenty of friends these days. Plenty of offers to race on plenty of circuits with plenty of sponsors. While the details roll out, it seems like a perfect chance to put things in perspective.



While I was sitting in Las Vegas this weekend watching word of Patrick’s new endeavor scroll on ESPN, I noticed the flat screen to my left was showing an old episode of "Friends." Got me thinking about how Patrick’s situation is a lot like the show. Cases in point:

Danica Patrick is Rachel: Duh, they’re both hot. But Rachel had 135 hair styles, 1,284 different jobs and broke up with Ross an astounding 2,340,120,935 times. Patrick has options on three circuits and who knows how many race teams. And like the Ross relationship, Patrick has bounced back and forth like a ping-pong ball. I hope both end up doing what makes them happy, even though I know Rachel is a fictional character who doesn’t really exist.

Tony Stewart is Chandler: Both have experienced odd fluctuations in weight.

The Indy Racing League is Ross: A struggling league falls into its hottest crossover star and now has to put up with the high maintenance that comes with having a hot star. They’ve spent three years worrying about getting dumped for the cute guy with big bucks and a European sense of style. Now they’re hoping the "listen to your heart" spiel actually works, as they bat their eyes like a cute puppy dog.

Monica is Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Both hung out with famous people who had mustaches.

 

Ryan Newman is Joey: How did Joey nab Rachel in the middle of the series run? How did Newman go from a nobody at Penske to chasing at Stewart-Haas? I hope Newman doesn’t move out to L.A. for a crappy spin-off.

Phoebe is Michael Waltrip: Both are missing in action. Wait, Waltrip still races? Every week? Really?

See, complicated issues in the world of racing are easy to figure out once you put things in perspective.

 
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