Denny Hamlin Feels Your Pain

Who says rich people are different? Just take Denny Hamlin — he understands your pain.

Why, when young Denny went to the fillin’ station the other week? Don’t you just know but he had to fill his own gas tank! And you know what’s worse? Ol’ Denny, he didn’t know how to unlatch the gas cap on his Range Rover! Now don’t that just beat all?!?

Now, you cup is half empty folks, you read that article and you’re flat disgusted that Denny has little people who usually handle irksome tasks like filling his cars with gas; me, I read and reread and rereread that charming tidbit and think Why, no one put a gun to Denny’s head and forced him to fill his own gas tank. He did that all on his own!

My only regret is that the writer didn’t reassure me that Denny puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like I do!

Think I’m just an apologist for another spoiled, self-centered, self-absorbed, overpaid athlete who wouldn’t know hardship if it jumped up and bit him in the ass? Not hardly. 

This Denny, he’s different. He’s been so moved by things like filling his own gas tank and stories of, you know, people going bankrupt and losing their jobs and their homes and, you know, killing themselves, their wife and their five kids, that … well, he’s buying tickets to NASCAR races and — are you ready for this? — giving them away!

If that doesn’t prove that Denny Hamlin is just like you and me, well, then, I don’t know what will!