Each driver will make a personal entrance at the Sharpie 500 on Saturday night at Bristol Motor Speedway. The songs they have chosen have been posted here. I won't comment on the choices. Jay Busbee and Jeff Gluck already did that quite amusingly. Instead, I will offer a list of which songs each driver would be introduced to if Bristol handed the MC duties over to yours truly and the drivers were given no say in the matter. Let's do this. I've got DJ Jeff Hammond on the ones and twos...
Tony Stewart: "My Way" by Frank Sinatra
Anyone who thought Stewart would start his own team and contend for the championship in the same season, please raise your hand. That's what I thought. Just Mojo.
Jeff Gordon: "Hurts So Good" by John Mellencamp
The guy plays hurt. And he's good. Hence, the song.
Jimmie Johnson: "Mr. Roboto" by Styx
If you read All Left Turns regularly, this choice should not surprise you.
Carl Edwards: "Training Montage" from Rocky IV by Vince DiCola
The night after every race I imagine Edwards running laps in the dimly-lit Soviet gym from Rocky IV while dead-eyed execs from Aflac smoke cigarettes and take note of his progress.
Kurt Busch: "F--- the Police" by NWA
Best traffic stop ever. I know it was four years ago. I don't care. Respect.
Juan Pablo Montoya: "Angry Chair" by Alice in Chains
If anyone owns an angry piece of furniture, it's Juan Pablo Montoya.
Kasey Kahne: "Girls, Girls, Girls" by Motley Crue
He's dated some girls.
Ryan Newman: "I love college" by Asher Roth
As the circuit's only college graduate, it is very likely Newman is the only driver to "pass out at 3, wake up at 10, go out to eat, then do it again." Then again, he was an engineering student... so, never mind.
Kyle Busch: "Everybody Hurts" by R.E.M.
Beneath that cocky exterior beats the heart of a little boy, a little boy who knows that he's "complaining and whining and a cry baby." And that little boy, he hurts.
Dale Earnhardt Jr.: "Without Me" by Eminem
Junior is the only Sprint Cup driver who is irreplaceable. Also, he's always rolling six deep with his homies.
Please feel free to add your own. I will give a prize to whomever comes up with the best song for Greg Biffle. (FYI: If you register with the site, it makes it easier for me to find you and give you your prize.)