Ladies and gentlemen, it has become abundantly clear that our nation's heartland has fallen victim to a massive Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Sr. fan crime spree. On Friday, Sept. 25, a man in a No. 3 Dale Earnhardt Sr. baseball hat (pictured above) robbed a Bank of America in Lawrenceville, Ga. This latest Earnhardt-related robbery comes on the heels of similar robberies this summer in Memphis, New Jersey and Salt Lake City, as well as even more horrifying Earnhardt fan atrocities in Indiana and Michigan. The bank robbery MO is startlingly similar. Man in Earnhardt hat enters bank. Man in Earnhardt hat uses note or gun to demand money. Man in Earnhardt hat (and this is the ironic part) makes fast getaway.

The police won't say it, so I will. If you're in a bank or credit union and you see a man in a 3, 8 or 88 hat, get the f*ck out.

Gwinnett police need public's help to catch bank robber (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

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