GORDON FANS ARE LITTLE GIRLS, AFTER ALL

Ladies and gentlemen, the first-place winner of the Boys & Girls Clubs of the Tennessee Valley Jeff Gordon Essay Contest.
Second place. She got his date of birth wrong, but at least she spelled his name right. We accuse the contest judges of a phantom debris caution.
Third place. I am pretty sure this kid's parents didn't help him with this one. At least, let's hope they didn't.
Fourth place. Thanks to a poor image scan, we may never know what this young man had to say about Gordon's super model wife. The loss is all of ours.
For Jeff Gordon Essay Contest champ, career path may be oval (Knoxville News-Sentinel)
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I don't know whether to laugh or cry