HARVICK, HAMLIN SIGN FRIENDSHIP CONTRACT
Posted 10/09/10 at 7:00 AM PDT by Chris M. |
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At Kansas, Kevin Harvick noted that he's established a distinct line with Denny Hamlin regarding their friendship on and off the track. "I think where Denny and I stand is very clear between the two of us." Harvick said.
On Thursday, the two men agreed in principle to a Friendship Contract to cover all aspects of their off-the-track relationship. The last time Harvick entered into a Friendship Contract was after Bowyer punk'd Harvick (it was big news over the NASCAR Twitter feeds).
Here is a copy of the Friendship Contract drawn up between the two men.
- Kevin will not include the word "Ham" in any nicknames for Denny. The list of banned nicknames include: "Hambone", "Denny Hamburglar", "Green Eggs and Denny Ham-lin", "Haminator 2: Judgment Ham", Ham-licious, Conan the Hambarian
- Denny will be Kevin's wingman at a party, in the event the two of them are not dating anyone.
- Denny can call Kevin to talk sh*t about any girl who dumps him, but only once per week. Crying during the phone call voids the friendship contract.
- Kevin will attend Denny's birthday parties, but he's not obligated to come up with a witty RSVP for the Evite.
- Plausible excuses for not attending a party at Denny's place: Major surgery, attending a Fleetwood Mac concert, DeLana Harvick.
- Kevin agrees to attend BBQ cookouts at Denny's, but only if one of the following three items is served: bison burgers, macaroni and cheese, or buffalo wings.
- Denny is required to introduce Kevin to Jordan Fish's cheerleader friends. Denny should introduce him as: "This is my friend Kevin. Stay away from him. He's dangerous."
- When joking around, Denny agrees never to reference Kevin's thinning hair or the Dave Matthews Band tattoo. (This item is non-negotiable.)
- When necessary to catch a flight, Denny agrees to drive Kevin to the airport, but never before 8 am.
- Denny agrees to be friends on Facebook, but Kevin is not allowed to post any notices about Farmville to Hamlin's wall. If Kevin "pokes" Denny on Facebook this contract is terminated.
- Denny agrees to come over to Kevin's house to watch football, provided Kevin has DIRECTV's NFL package.
- When playing golf together, Denny is legally obligated to "look the other way" if Kevin picks up his ball and throws it back onto the fairway.
- When playing golf together, Denny is legally obligated to "look the other way" if Kevin picks up his ball and throws it back onto the fairway.
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