JEFF GORDON FANS ARE LITTLE GIRLS, AFTER ALL



Ladies and gentlemen, your first-place winner of the Boys & Girls Clubs of the Tennessee Valley Jeff Gordon Essay Contest.



Second place. She got Gordon’s date of birth wrong, but she spelled his name right. We accuse the contest judges of a phantom debris caution.

Third place. We’re pretty sure this kid didn’t get any help from his parents. At least, we hope.

 

Fourth place. Due to a horrible scan, we will never know which vital details this young entrant chose to include about Gordon’s supermodel wife.

For Jeff Gordon Essay Contest champ, career path may be oval (Knoxville News-Sentinel)