JESUS PLAYING SPORTS GALLERY

Posted 09/10/09 at 9:09 AM PDT by Joe Donatelli | Email This |

In honor of the birth of NASCAR Jesus, we have put together this gallery of sports Jesuses. Turns out Jesus saves. And swings. And catches. And bicycle kicks. And refs karate matches. Check out the gallery below. And remember, the Good Lord does have a sense of humor.

Just because Jesus wears a crown of thorns doesn't mean it won't sting like crazy when someone kicks him in the shins. Soccer Jesus provides a safe example for us all. Check out the form on the bicycle kick, just like Pele in "Victory," or me walking through a wet lobby.

With no defenders in sight, Jesus could easily take the ball in himself for the score, but instead he flips it to the kid whose school could not afford to buy him real football pants. This photo actually hangs in my parents' house.

What's the one thing Jesus and Allen Iverson have in common? Both are huge, huge ball hogs. Give up the rock, Basketball Jesus!

By playing hockey against 11-year-olds half his size, Hockey Jesus is able to teach children the virtue of suffering. Check out the eye-of-the-tiger look on Jesus' face. He's in it to win it.

One of these children is destined to avenge Sensei Jesus' death. The other one will run the rope line at Pure.

I'm pretty sure the kid in the orange shirt is going straight to hell.

So totally unfair to the other team. This is how Protestantism started.

No one knows what Jesus did from ages 12 to 30. Now we know. And now we know why the Catholic Church doesn't want you to know. You better believe Dan Brown is all over this.

When Jesus returns, his first act will be to save the NHL. This will prove to the world that he truly is the son of God.

Are all the fat kids gone? Good. Slim, you're going to pass it to Skinny, who will send it over to Twiggy...

Jesus statues are available at: Saint Patrick's Guild

Tags:
athlete jesus
jesus playing sports
sports jesus

33 Comments

Stumble

Twitter

Anonymous (not verified)8 months ago

wow...if God didn't have a sense of humor, how do explain ur existence?

Anonymous (not verified)8 months ago

wow...if God didn't have a sense of humor, how do explain ur existence?

Jake (not verified)9 months ago

Hey, all fellow christians...
Don't be mad at the ppl who think this is funny. It's a joke. Atleast they didn't say anything negative about him.

Anonymous (not verified)9 months ago

these pictures show a pedophile touching kids !

scamps (not verified)10 months ago

Is "Soccer Jesus" playing for Italy?

Mulator (not verified)12 months ago

Money, jesus love money.....fucking jesus...

Anonymous (not verified)10 months ago

Unnecessary vulgarity, all of you cool it with that and show some respect to God, Jesus, And The Spirit. I like these statues and the values Jesus gives. Author included, let's all have some respect! Glory To You, O Lord, Thanks, Praise, Worship, Blessings, And Glory Always Be, Father, Son, And Holy Spirit, Then, Now, And Forever And Always Eternal, Glory To You O Lord, And Life, Peace, Mercy, Love, Hope, Strength, Word, Deed, Wisdom, Worship, Blessings, Talents, And Justice Always Be On earth and in Heaven, With All Creation individually and as a collective carrying out your work and their calling through their time, talents, opportunity, blessings, light, hope, healing, holiness, and gifts as Creations, Lovers, And Servants Of God And His Holy Gospel And Traditions And Worship In Their Own Ways And As A Collective! Pray! May All And Every Be Saved! All Found And None Lost! Jesus participating in our lives and us being all in it whatever we do, Face And Hand And Spirit Of God In All Creation And All Concepts And Things Everywhere, Fundamentally All Good And Of God And To Return And Stay That Way! Forever And Ever Alleluia Amen! Peace, Love, And God Bless All And Every! :bows to the Lord: All our hearts, minds, bodies, spirits, souls, love, gifts, talents, blessings, peace, concepts, true ideals, righteousness, grace, mercy, forgiveness, healing, helping, service, light, etc. Through, With, In, Of, By, For, And From The Lord right back at Him as best as We Can Do! Let's Help Our Brothers and Sisters, Strangers and Foreigners, Lonely and Popular, Loved and unloved/hated, Heaven and earth, Creatures, Plants, People...ALL CREATION to be God's and bid Him rightful Glory. PLGB ALL AND EVERY, AND GOOD EVERYTHING TO ALL CREATION, Love, Gifts, Time, Blessings, Talents, Duties, Tasks,Thanks, Be To God, Among So Many Other Things, And Bid Him Glory And Praise Well Due And More Significantly Deserved From ALL CREATION! Amen!

Anonymous (not verified)12 months ago

Man,i hate all you motherfucking atheists

Anonymous (not verified)12 months ago

this makes me wanna play sports

Anonymous (not verified)12 months ago

bla bla bla

Anonymous (not verified)12 months ago

Religion is done... it's for retards really. It's 2009 get over your imaginary friends already.

JESUS FOLLOWER (not verified)12 months ago

Dear all, don be angry with those people that thinks is funny, but have faith in JESUS... if JESUS can do all this thing... all things is possible for him.... JESUS LOVE ALL OF US.... he is my coach... in all ways... praise him that JESUS give us the talents in the sport....

Jessica (not verified)13 months ago

Because we all know if Jesus existed, he'd have nothing better to do with his time to with his time than help people win sports.