Jimmie Johnson Dull? Are You Serious???

I like what the guys over at Frontstretch.com do. Really. I dare say, we get together at a bar, odds are good we have a good time buying each other beers. But, I’ve got to say, this contribution to the dialogue? Not so good.

First of all, there’s the small matter of length — I halfway expect to see this puppy in next week’s New Yorker. Or perhaps The Atlantic; what is this thing? Maybe 8,750 words? Holy crap. I’m tired. I’m busy. I have kids. I’ve gotta walk the frickin’ dog. Like I have time for this treatise?

So it may well be that it hits its stride long about paragraph 20, I just don’t know. Because, well, frankly, I couldn’t get past the third paragraph:

However, one glaring problem NASCAR has seems to go somewhat unnoticed by the press and blogosphere, even if the problem is often articulated through other means. And there really isn’t much NASCAR can do about it—not that they wouldn’t try.

Jimmie Johnson.

Unnoticed by the press and blogosphere? Is the writer kidding? I mean, hell, I’ve made reference to the guy’s wooden-on-a-good day personality more than once, that’s for sure; but I’m also reasonably confident that most of the world is aware of the fact that Johnson’s staggering lack of a personality is not exactly, you know, good for the sport. I’m even reasonably certain a whole host of writers and sites have expounded on the topic. Like this one. Or this one.

No, the problem isn’t that people don’t know or care to discuss His Boringness, it’s that there’s really not a whole hell of a lot to be done about it. I just know that if I have to see a fourth annual photo of His Stiffness smooching the trophy, I’m killing myself

Now, will somebody be a dear and please send me the Cliff’s Notes version of that story??