This Just In: Jeff Gordon? He’s So Back!

If the charlatans of the sporting press are to be believed, Jeff Gordon is back; he’s resurgent; he’s discovered a newfound confidence; he’s got a fire in his belly that’s been missing the last few years … and on and on and on. Hmm. I wonder if any of this apparently newfound mojo is a result of having finished 13th, second, sixth, and second in the first month and leading the standings? Nah, can’t be.

What we have here is a chicken-and-egg thing, of course: Is he revived because of the great start or is the great start the cause of the revitalization? Honestly, I don’t particularly care. I just know I’m already tired of reading this story in its 8,002 variations and I just need someone to give me an idea of what the statute of limitations on the Jeff Gordon is back stories might be?
I mean, does he need to finish in the top 13 at Bristol in two weeks to still be back? Or, let’s say he finishes 16th at Bristol but then "rebounds with a solid seventh at Martinsville" — was he not back at Bristol but he’ll then be back to being back if he runs well at Martinsville? Or what if he then craps out at Texas … heavens, what then?

Seriously, can we give this narrative a rest already? I have just a ton of Kurt Busch and Penske are back stories I need to get caught up on …