KYLE BUSCH TEACHES TRAFFIC SCHOOL


Recently Kyle Busch was cited for reckless driving when he was clocked at 128mph in a 45mph zone. Busch’s ticket is the latest in a long line of race car driver public driving fails. The younger, impetuous Busch would have just flown the bird when caught speeding, but as an older, more mature driver, Kyle chose a different tone.

Busch taught a Saturday session of traffic school at Charlotte’s Safety First Traffic School in order to enter back into his fans good graces and demonstrate his remorse following the incident. Here is the driving lessons Rowdy Busch imparted in the eight hour workshop.

Be Responsible Behind the Wheel


Everyone needs to be responsible behind the wheel… Even if that wheel is connected to a $400,000, hand-made, bright yellow Lexus that is only one of 87 in the world. A car that glides on the open road and makes ladies throw their underwear into your car at stop lights. This ride was awesome! It was literally the most amazing experience of my life, and I once did “the business” with a Ms. Golden Corral Beauty Pageant contestant in a bathroom at Atlanta Motor Speedway.  … But getting back to the original point, be responsible when you drive your crappy Hyundai to the mall.

Be Respectful to Police Officers

Always be respectful to officers of the law. They are ensuring your safety… unless that officer is a NASCAR official. Those NASCAR officials are jokes! You can’t tell me I was speeding on pit road, I reserve my reckless driving for the streets of Charlotte, NC. If some NASCAR official tries to punk you,  Fly the bird at those guys anytime you want… But in all other cases, you need to respect officers of the law.

Safe Driving Distance

Always maintain a safe driving distance behind other cars… unless it’s some grandpa like Kevin Harvick. Dale Sr. said it best, ‘God created bumpers and bumpers were made for bumping.’ If you get on the highway and some joker has a 29 sticker in his window, you’ve got to get him out of the way. I’m normally a really cool, chill dude that ladies love to be with (remember that story about the Ms. Golden Corral – I’m the man), but when I think of Kevin Harvick I go bezerker. Once while thinking of Kevin Harvick I punched a puppy and I really love dogs.

Proper Car Maintenance is Essential

I have the benefit of one of the best pit crews in NASCAR to keep my car running perfectly every weekend. As a car owner, you also need to maintain your car’s engine and exterior. My very hot wife (pictured above) helps me wax my car regularly. It should be noted that "waxing the car" is not a cheeky metaphor for something else we do in the privacy of our bedroom, jacuzzi and/or local McDonalds’ bathrooms. I actually mean that we apply a coating to the exterior of the car to prevent dust and water from ruining the finish… then we do "the business."

You Don’t Have to Be A Race Car Driver to Enjoy Driving

You don’t need to be a race car driver married to a hot wife who does the business with local restaurant chain beauty contestants and gets to drive hand-made $400,000 sports cars for free in order to enjoy driving… but it helps.

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