Editor’s note: The real Brian Vickers did not write this.
By Brian Vickers
Hey everybody, it’s guest blogger Brian Vickers. Making the Chase last weekend was huge. I’ve had so much fun driving for Team Red Bull this year. I thought I’d give fans a glimpse of what a typical day is like. Today, I’m in Vegas for a few Red Bull publicity events. Of course, Red Bull thought it would be cool to track how many Red Bull Energy Drinks I have during the day.
Vegas – 9am
Working for Team Red Bull is awesome. Today I skipped breakfast and just had a Red Bull. I’m going to be doing mach 2 in a fighter jet and didn’t want to puke on the barrel rolls. I wish I could race this thing in New Hampshire!
Vegas – 10am
Phew, that jet ride was great! I just had another two Red Bulls. There are so many cool events that I go to as a member of Team Red Bull. I’ve been Dune Buggy Racing, Kayaking, Skydiving. It’s pretty awesome. I’m thirsty again, but all they have at these events is Red Bull. I haven’t eaten yet, but I’ll grab a bite at my NASCAR Cafe autograph session.
Vegas – Noon
Yes! Yes! Yes! I love drinking Red Bull! I downed five Red Bulls in an hour. I can feel each individual strand of hair on my body. AAAHHHAAwesome! Saw Kyle Busch at NASCAR Cafe opening. Kyle kept staring at me and looking all funny. He was trying to start something, but I took the high road. That guy makes me sooooo angry!!! AAAAHHHHH! I’m so stressed out right now! I’ve got to blow off some steam… I’m headed to Tijuana.
Tijuana – 5pm
A quick jet flight and 10 Red Bulls later, I found myself in a good-old-fashion Tijuana Street Fight. I just fought (and beat) about forty Tijuana dudes. I still can’t believe that Kyle gave me the stink eye like that! I’m going back to Vegas to call him out on it.
Somewhere in the Desert – Midnight
I’m pretty sure I just robbed a convenience store for more Red Bull. Oh man, what did I just do? I was minding my own business, drinking ten to fifteen Red Bulls at once, when this guy was all like, ‘You have to pay for those!’ And I just kept shouting, "I won a Tijuana Street Fight!" Then I realized that the guy was Kyle Busch and that I should put him in a burlap sack and bury him in the desert. But now that I’m coming down from my Red Bull High, I’m pretty sure I was hallucinating and that Kyle Busch was not working the graveyard shift at a Circle K. Boy, is my face red. Oh, well. Just another crazy day livin’ la vida Red Bull!
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