Cancel Christmas right now.

The one thing I want more than anything else is off the digital shelves, and not even the Playstation 3 my wife tried to hide will reduce my holiday woe.

Leave it to a planet on the Yahoo blogosphere to find a link to Bass Pro Shops selling clam chowder with Martin Truex Jr. adorning the label. This effort required true journalism, as Bass Pro Shops has 17 different categories of items for sale on the main page of its site. None have anything to do with food, let alone canned goods, let alone clam chowder, let alone clam chowder with Martin Truex Jr. on the label.

Truex Jr. is a fan of seafood. He’s an avid angler, and the person who drives his trailer is named “Tuna.” Don’t believe me? Watch this digital infomercial.

One can, 15 ounces of soupy delight, runs $1.94. With Truex Jr. leaving for Michael Waltrip Racing, I have to wonder if there’s a killer sale on these items at Bass Pro Shops. I also hope Jamie McMurray, the man replacing Truex Jr., doesn’t have a lactose intolerance issue, as his face will probably be on the label a year from now. (Turns out Truex’s dad owns Sea Watch International, a seafood company.) Most of all, I have to believe this can of soup has become the Red Ryder BB Gun of 2009 for racing fans. Just don’t shoot your eye out opening your gift Christmas morning.

They make it ’cause we buy it: Martin Truex Clam Chowder (From The Marbles)