NASCAR AND AVATAR: IN PERSPECTIVE

There’s no racing on TV. As a result, I’m stuck spending time with my wife. That recently included a trip to see the movie "Avatar." Much like Talladega, it was a visual show with a crappy story. Turns out "Avatar" is a lot like NASCAR when you put things in perspective. Here’s how:

 

Sigourney Weaver is Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Both are big names. Both haven’t done much in awhile. Both have new endeavors that might lead to a comeback. Weaver’s comeback has made a billion dollars. Dale Jr. will settle for a single win.

Michelle Rodriguez is Robby Gordon

Both will stare a hole through your soul if given the chance. I’m still not sure which one I would rather see in a dark alley.

Mike Helton is Colonel Quartich

When the poop hits the fan, Colonel Quartich blows stuff up and takes no prisoners. In NASCAR, Mike Helton changes the rules before Talladega and gives drivers an evil glare.

Giovanni Ribisi is David Stremme

I have no clue how either of them do what they do for a living.

Kyle Busch is Neytiri


Both are young. Both get it done, though in totally different ways, if you smell what the Fark is cooking.

Sam Worthington is Jimmie Johnson

Nobody knew who in the blue hell Sam Worthington was six months ago. Then he hooked up with a juggernaut of a director, and he’s set for life. Six years ago, Jimmie Johnson was a somewhat unheralded driver who got an opportunity with a juggernaut of an owner. Sam Worthington won’t  four straight Oscars, but it’s amazing what happens when talent meets opportunity.

Next week: Comparing Mark Martin to Alec Baldwin in "It’s Complicated."

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