NASCAR Does Not Need to Consider Danica Patrick

I missed this gem from David Exum the other day – which is lucky, really, because had I seen this puppy when it was posted, I think I’d have blown a proverbial gasket.

Fortunately for me, my wife, the kids, and, not least, our dog, the passage of time has damped my fires, lessened my indignation, and just generally given me a chance to simmer down. Therefore, it is with all measured restraint that I say the following, calmly and coolly: Of all the dumb, stupid, idiotic, and otherwise asinine suggestions for how best to reinvigorate NASCAR, this one has got to take the freaking cake.
NASCAR needs to consider Danica Patrick, says Exum? As what? Certainly not as a driver – hell, in four years, she’s won once. One time. On one occasion was her car the first car to cross the start/finish line ahead of all the other cars in that day’s race. Once. Of course, there was that second-place finish at the Raceway at Belle Isle back on September 2, 2007 …
NASCAR needs to consider Danica Patrick? Are you kidding? Please, David Exum, tell me you’re kidding. Yes, she looks good in a fire suit, but c’mon – does she really look so much better than, say, Jeff Gordon who not only boasts those classic, chiseled, All-American good looks, but, dammit, looks darn good in blue. Fine, you want to tell me she looks better than Jeff in a bathing suit, I’ll give you that, but that’s as far as I go.
Danica Patrick is hot, I get it. But just about the last thing NASCAR needs at this particular point in time is another gimmick driver. First of all, we already have Michael Waltrip. But, even more to the point, NASCAR needs to reassert itself by providing fans with some kick-ass racing; it most certainly does not need to expose itself to ridicule by engaging in a cheap or desperate play for publicity – look, there’s Danica! Look, there she is, in the wall again!
No, NASCAR doesn’t need to consider Danica Patrick. And if Danica Patrick wants to consider NASCAR, she should maybe spend some time behind the wheel of a Nationwide car for a bit and see if she has any more of a clue in it than she apparently does in her IRL ride.