NASCAR FAN SHOOTS THE BIRD

And we’re not talking about giving Kyle Busch the one-finger salute. A New Jersey man is accused of shooting and killing a family pet – an African grey parrot named Mikey – with a BB gun because it annoyed him while he watched a NASCAR race, specifically the Pocono race on June 7. (If you recall, that was a fuel conservation race, so the urge to shoot something was pretty overwhelming, especially if you were not a Tony Stewart fan.)

Dennis Zeglin’s wife called police after she heard shots and discovered the dead parrot. Her husband sat in his living room chair and continued to watch the race.

Alcohol was a factor. Defense attorney Stephen Fletcher said his client was intoxicated and has since received counseling for alcoholism. The Randolph Daily Record notes that "Authorities advised the father and his son that if another family pet – a Labrador Retriever – annoys anybody they should call police or the animal control office, reports said."

Under normal circumstances, that would be the most ridiculous sentence in the news report. But these were not normal circumstances. A drunk guy shot a bird here, people. The son, who had taken the bird outside and placed a white sheet over it, was about to bury the dead animal when authorities arrived and stopped him. The Record dutifully reports, "The bird, instead, was autopsied by a veterinarian."

That’s right, a man shot a parrot during a NASCAR race and a Monty Python sketch broke out. Authorities determined that it was not "pining for the fjords."


An African grey parrot, alive

Zeglin was charged with several counts of animal cruelty. This act is just the latest in a nationwide NASCAR fan crime spree.

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Randolph man’s parrot annoyed him, so he shot it (Daily Record)