Christmas is a different sort of deal for a NASCAR drivers. Most of their wishes don’t come true until well after the holidays, and some even come a little early. Our intrepid reporters have hacked Santa’s email to see what some of your favorite NASCAR personalities wants underneath their tree…
Thanks for the early presents. The five Chase wins were sweet, and I really love my new trophy. I’m just hoping I don’t get any coal in my stocking after firing Darian Grubb. If it’s not being too greedy, I’m hoping for another championship. The fans like it, and except for telling off a few reporters, I was a nice boy. Besides, don’t you think after what Steve Addington has been through, he deserves one too?
Remember me? I think you must have lost my address, because I didn’t get that big trophy underneath my tree this year. What’s up that? I wasn’t getting tired of them. I’ve been a good boy. In fact. I’m giving YOU a Christmas present. Enclosed with my letter is a GPS with a pre-set to my house.
You stink! You’re fired! My 2011 was total garbage! Ok, I didn’t have very much fun this year, and I took it out on a lot of people. I’ve learned my lesson, and I’m hoping you will find it in your heart to give me a new job in 2012. I know there aren’t many available, but I’m really hoping it’s not one of those start ‘n’ park cars (or worse, a car sponsored by Extenze). Besides, I was still better behaved than my little brother.
Sincerely (I guess),
I was a really good…..uh, I was mostly a good, um, Hey, I didn’t kill anybody. That counts for something doesn’t it? My wife and my family love me, maybe even Kurt. How about a good 2012 for my fans’ sake. You know that’s not easy. I promise I’ll behave better next year.
(Thanks Joe for helping me with this)
What up Santa?
I really like the early Christmas present you got me. I think I’m going to like my new job. Would it be too greedy to ask for a few wins? I know I’ve been blessed with good looks and some good sponsors, but I see what my new teammate Dale is going through, and I’m hoping to avoid that. I don’t want anyone calling ME the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR. No sir!
Mr. Santa Sir,
It’s me, your former Golden Boy. Thanks for the history making wins this year. Between helping out starving old people and kids in Rwanda, I’ve been really good. You think you could get ME a championship this year? Jimmie has more than me and it’s embarrassing when your employee has a cooler resume than you do. Think about it, how would YOU like it if you got upstaged by Rudolph? I’m just sayin’.
With utmost sincerity,
Your killin’ me. Makin’ the Chase was nice, but that thing at Charlotte- runnin’ out of gas on the last lap- was just downright cruel. I like bein’ popular, but my fans are getting impatient, and my critics are getting’ meaner. Think you could throw me a win? OK, maybe two, how ‘bout three? I ain’t greedy. Help a brother out.
Dale Earnhardt Jr.
Thanks for the early gift of working for a champion. I think I should get something special after what the Busch Boys put me through. Don’t forget my request for peaceful pan flute music CDs, those yoga DVDs and those stress management books as stocking stuffers. Lord know I’m gonna need ‘em.
I’m confused, but cool. Thanks for the new gig with Denny Hamlin. If you’re looking for a sack to put the reindeer poop in, here’s Tony Stewart’s stocking. It’s just a thought,and it’d make my day.
Other articles by author include:
Kurt Busch May Find Himself On An Island
11 Big NASCAR Stories From 2011
Hail To The Crew Chief, Darian Grubb