Well doesn’t this stink…

We’ve had a month to get really excited about an interesting start to 2011. And just as the momentum builds for the next race, we’re supposed to spend the weekend with our families instead of watching the races. What’s up with that?

Also, what’s up with this season? Lots of crazy stuff to start the year and get you thinking about the next 33 weeks. Those thoughts lead to the imaginary odds for the sake of entrainment and entertainment alone.

Odds Jimmie Johnson misses the Chase 35/1

I will never take these odds. Ever. But, aren’t you a bit worried about Champ’s start? It’s not about getting involved in a wreck or having a bad pit stop. Captain Lowe’s doesn’t have speed. I’m not a genius, but I know speed seems to be an important factor in doing well when you race anything, particularly cars. Johnson usually wins a race within the first six weeks of the season. These next few races are going to tell us something. And it might surprise you.

Odds Carl Edwards is for real 1/235,567

We all know Edwards runs well on 1 ½ mile tracks. But the first three weeks of this season are three totally different tracks. Edwards almost won Daytona. He had the best car at Phoenix until Kyle Busch got in his way. Then Edwards won in Vegas. With his track record on short tracks, it’s clear Edwards can make a real run at Johnson’s throne.

Odds Paul Menard makes the Chase 25/1

Here we go again. Menard is sixth in the points. I would never take these odds in 2,687 years. Maybe 2,688 years. But Menard is doing the best of all Richard Childress Racing drivers three weeks through the year. Viva the statistical anomaly.

Odds Joey Logano makes the Chase: 22/1

Logano is tied for 28th in the points through three races. For someone who was supposed to make a push in 2011, this would be an anti-push. Somewhere the Harvick family is chuckling.

Odds Emily wins The Bachelor 1/2

Talk about burying the lead. Emily was engaged to Ricky Hendrick, who died in a plane crash back in 2004. Turns out she was pregnant with Ricky’s child at the time of the tragedy.

Now she’s competing with Chantal for the heart of “Bachelor Brad.” He’s most known for being on this show once before, but the dude dumped both women in the finale in what I like to call “The most awesome thing I’ve seen in reality TV history.”

My wife watches The Bachelor and would probably pick this show over our marriage if forced to make a decision. When asked to break this down, here is her expert (and trust me, she’s an expert) analysis.

Some of the other girls called Emily “Mother Teresa” because she never said mean things about the other girls and was beautiful and sweet.  I love Chantal because she’s spunky. She slapped Brad in the face the first time they met. Plus, her parents are filthy rich. Not that has anything to do with anything. In the end, it’s impossible to find anything wrong with Emily. Brad met her daughter and had a good time. I don’t think it’s meant to be, but I think she’s going to win.

A former “Bachelor” contestant is the new Miss Sprint Cup. Now we have this. NASCAR needs to capitalize on this. Trevor Bayne as the next “Bachelor” would equal cash money. Robby Gordon on “The Ultimate Fighter” would be recorded until manual deletion. And Tony Stewart on “Dancing With The Stars” would make me the happiest person ever.  

This is how you improve ratings Team France. That and avoid an off week this early in the season. Enjoy your in-laws, deck staining and Bed, Bath and Beyond Trip; now insert random catchphrase here.