You earn a boatload of cash and you do something manly like drive a race car for a living? You damn well better be nailing a seriously hot woman. Or, better yet, nailing seriously hot women. But, whether a guy is a serial dater (we’re looking at you
, Dale Earnhardt Jr.), the available evidence proves that what NASCAR drivers are getting is pretty damn good.
Who: Ingrid Vandebosch
Linked to: She is the mother of Jeff Gordon’s child
The mere fact of Ingrid’s presence of Gordon’s arm is conclusive evidence that supermodels don’t save themselves just for open-wheelers. And to all you haters who insist on clinging to the tired old ‘Jeff Gordon is gay’ thing? That’s so 20th century. What’s that you say, Rock Hudson? Okay, fine, well, then, what about the fact that the duo procreated together? Is that not proof enough?
Who: Samantha Sarcinella
Linked to: the dangerously hot Sarcinella is Kyle Busch’s girlfriend
That a weenie like Kyle Busch can land a honey like Samantha Sarcinella is just more proof that there is no justice. Even more damning to those of us who are old, gray, withered, and bitter, you can bet money that little Busch will get bored with the preternaturally hot Samantha, toss her aside and move on to someone else equally hot.
Who: Krissie Newman
Linked to: Married to Ryan Newman
Striking a massive blow for subtlety everywhere, we present Ryan Newman’s wife, Krissie. In contrast to certain other modified, sculpted, and big-chested ‘beauties,’ Mrs. Newman is the kind of quietly hot woman who is 10 yards past you before you realize Holy crap, that chick is hot!
: Lynne AllmendingerLinked to
: sigh … AJ Freaking
Shouldn’t there be a law? Or at least something that requires a driver should at least have won a race before booking passage on the ocean liner Super Babe? Of course, setting such a bar would make it hard for AJ Allmendinger to make time with a hottie like his wife, Lynne.
: Delana HarvickLinked to
: Married to Kevin Harvick
In many worlds, Delana Harvick would be considered hot. I guess … I mean, if you like a spectacular body and a flowing, blonde mane. But really, the whole ‘gotta wear a firesuit to Kev’s races’ thing? Kind of ruins it for me …
Who: Pick ’em
Linked to: The Luckiest Man on Earth
It’s good to be king. At various points in his career, Dale Earnhardt Jr. has been linked to Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Marisa Miller (above, left) and former Playboy Playmate Leann Tweeden (above, right). At other times, he’s ‘slummed’ with unknowns like Kortnie Coles and the barely-known Shannon Wiseman (center). Tell me you don’t wanna play One of these things is not like the other …
Who: Nikki Taylor
Linked to: Burney Lamar
Lamar, who has had virtually no success in a thoroughly mediocre Nationwide Series career, is married to Nikki Taylor. Repeat after me: Lamar is married to the unrealistically beautiful, she-must-be-a-hologram-she’s-so-hot Nikki Taylor. On top of that, the union recently produced a set o’ twins, meaning – He’s seen her naked!
Who: Tammy Kahne
Linked to: She gave the world Kasey Kahne
Gentlemen, I give you Exhibit A in my ever-expanding cougar file. Sure, she gave birth to Kasey almost 30 years ago — there’s some mileage there. But, really, doesn’t that just kind of heighten the appeal? I mean, at least, from what my friends tell me it does.