Danica Patrick is Hot, But, Well, You Know, She Can’t Really DRIVE

So poor little Danica, she just can't catch herself a break over there in those silly little Indy cars ... another race, another crash, another DNF not her fault.This time, the Greatest Hot Driver Never To Catch A Break In Any Race She's Ever Run was undone by some stupid rookie who actually tried to pass the Greatest Hot Driver Never To Catch A Break In Any Race She's Ever Run! Can you believe the unmitigated gall of that insolent little twit? Do these kids have no idea who&nbs ...

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Did Not Finish? How About Did Not Win?

Clint Bowyer has been running at the finish of 80 consecutive Sprint Cup series races (that's him, not finishing, above). Yawn. Bowyer's streak leads all active drivers and is just one -- just one! -- behind the record held by his teammate, Kevin Harvick. Yeah, whatever.You'd have to look long and hard to find another more idiotic or inconsequential statistic in all of sports. Aside from the fact that it allows for a car to crap out on Lap 1, undergo repairs and then return to t ...

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And You Wonder Where Kyle Gets It

Apparently, immaturity runs in the Busch family. Ordinarily, it's Kyle who behaves like a third-grader, telling his crew they suck after a bad stop or just basically behaving like a brat whenever things don't seem to go his way. Well, clearly, Kyle had one whale of a teacher in older brother Kurt.The following exchange between Kurt and car owner Roger Penske at Martinsville launched a minor firestorm within NASCAR; the debate centers on whether communications between driver ...

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UPDATED: Brian France Feels Your Pain … A Little Bit

UPDATE: Though I still think purchasing a luxury apartment for a cool $10 million sends a poor message, credit due to Brian France for flying commercial to races in California and Vegas earlier this year. Consider me modestly chastened.According to the April issue of NASCAR Illustrated, Brian France recently paid $10.6 million for an apartment in New York City. Let them eat cake, indeed!Look, France is a grown man, albeit one obviously in possession of too much disposable income ...

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Monday Morning Losers

Ordinarily, in the wake of each race, I highlight the drivers and the teams that moved up or down the day before. And while at least a few guys did themselves much good yesterday -- as much as it pains me, I got five bucks on the No. 48 winning number four -- there was just too much bad to overlook in Sunday's Samsung 500.  The No. 88 Pit Crew: I want Junior to do well. I like the guy (no there's no cheering in the press box; of course, I'm not actually in a press box, ...

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LiveBlog: Texas Motor Speedway

Jeff Gordon ends a 47-race winless streak, and wins his first race at Texas Motor Speedway. Gordon holds off a furiously-charging Jimmie Johnson to solidify his hold on the overall lead and flip the proverbial bird to anyone who thought that perhaps his days as one of the sport's top drivers were behind him.215 Laps Run and Two Cautions?Record for fewest cautions at Texas? Five. Do such long green-flag runs at Texas lead to balls-out racing on the track or does it string cars out and force peo ...

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People, Please: For the Love of Pete, It Was April Fool’s

Color me confused -- three days ago, FOXSports.com runs a poll, the results of which force me to conclude that NASCAR fans are dumb not the brightest bulbs in the socket. Now, the site steps up with another poll, the results of which force me to conclude that NASCAR fans are of much higher wattage than I thought. While the rest of the blogosphere wastes energy and continues to chide Car and Driver for its April Fools' Day hoax, FOXSports.com asked its users if the maga ...

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Are Drivers Athletes, Yes or No?

Like this guy, in almost 18 years of sports reporting, I've covered virtually every major professional sport. And, like this guy, I've even competed in my share over the years, a few at a reasonably competitive level and with some success. But, unlike this guy and at risk of pissing off a whole bunch of people, I just don't think NASCAR drivers are athletes, per se.Of course, it will likely come as no real surprise, then, that I don't consider NASCAR a sport in a conventional sense. But t ...

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Vegas and NASCAR: A Marginally More Logical Union

According to a report in the Las Vegas Review Journal, NASCAR has reached an agreement to move the annual Sprint Cup banquet from New York City to Vegas. In other words, it only took NASCAR, oh, 25 years to realize that holding the banquet in New York City was ... asinine.Go ahead, give me all the reasons why holding the banquet in NYC made sense -- exposure, media capital of the world, etc., etc. Et. Cet. Er. Ah. It's all crap. Shoe-horning NASCAR into New York i ...

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Michael Waltrip Leads a Statistical Category?!?

Statistics can be made to support damn near any point of view. And though it's no real shock that Jeff Gordon is leading this week's Loop Data statistics from NASCAR -- a season-worst 13th and five other finishes of sixth-or-better and the points lead will do that -- the fact is, numbers can lie.And how do I know this? Michael Waltrip (that's what's left of him and his car at Bristol, above) leads all drivers in a category. Something called "Closers." I'm sorry, what's that? Tha ...

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