The New Jersey man accused of shooting his parrot because its squawking bothered him during a NASCAR race will make a plea offer next month in a bid to avoid jail time. Alleged bird murderer Dennis Zeglin, who does not look at all like I thought he would look, was arraigned last week in state Superior Court in Morristown on an animal cruelty indictment returned against him by a Morris County grand jury.

Zeglin’s attorney admitted that his client was drunk when he fired a Daisy Powerline Model 93, CO2-powered BB gun at Mikey, a 20-year-old parrot. According to the Daily Record, Zeglin hopes to undergo a pretrial intervention program, which would allow him to serve probation and meet other special conditions instead of facing the possibility of up to five years in prison. The lawyer said Zeglin has not touched alcohol since the incident. (Must not be a Brad Keselowski fan.)

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