On Saturday, March 5th the Style Channel will debut a one-hour behind the scenes look at Samantha Sarcinella and Kyle Busch’s 2010 wedding called Fast and Fabulous: A NASCAR Wedding. While that last statement should elicit silent screams of horror there is a bright side: you get to watch Kyle Busch plan a wedding.
While Rowdy Busch is known for crashing weddings, this time he’s choosing flower colors and folding wedding invitations while minding the pitfalls of bad NASCAR weddings. Here are five things to watch for:
While shopping for wedding dress accessories, Kyle is asked to choose the best looking ribbon to accent the wedding dress. With his answer, Kyle resigned his manhood, revoked his license of ‘dude-atude’ and ensured he will never be able to relax with his buddies without being asked what ribbon goes best with with his lite beer.
Such sweet, sweet pain. The pained expression on Kyle’s face as he shops in a jewery store for the ring he will have to wear for the rest of his life is magic. Based on his furrowed brow, selecting a wedding ring is the equivolent of asking Busch to say something nice about teammate.
Like bump drafting at Talladega, the best man speech is fraught with peril. Best Man Toasts can easily veer below the solid yellow line with odes to the groom’s ex-girlfriends or descriptions of how much porn the groom was forced to destroy when he married. The toast at Kyle’s wedding enters Kenny Loggins’ danger zone when a surpirse toastmaster is announced: rival Brad Keselowski. The same Keselowski who introduced Kyle at Bristol by announcing to the crowd, "Kyle Busch is an ass." Brad’s speech made Charile Sheen blush.
More monotonous than watching the first 400 miles of the Coca-Cola 600, glueing, folding and labeling homemade wedding invitations is a punishment worse than the guy who has to wash all the firesuits. Kyle deftly avoids this trap by calling in a crew of guys who can change four tires and gas a car faster than most can flip the channel. The Number 18 pit crew cranks out five hundred invitations in less time than it takes Carl Edwards to backflip (the team sustained only minor paper cuts).
Just before the wedding, Kyle and Samantha are escorted into NASCAR’s Competition Hauler for a private meeting with Robin Pemberton, the NASCAR Official responsible for competition and discipline. Pemberton counsels the young couple on compromise, sharing your feelings and an incredibly uncomfortable sex ed lesson using a stock car and a catch can.