Though not quite in the same league as National Lampoon's infamous 1973 "If you don't buy this magazine, we'll kill this dog" cover plea, there's something equally ... desperate about a NASCAR Sprint Cup series team attempting to auction off a one-race sponsorship on eBay.

According to the announcement on the site, the winning bidder would "partner with an established team currently in the top 35 of NASCAR's Sprint Cup Series, which guarantees a spot in the event." The minimum bid was $25,000.

Desperate times, of course, call for desperate measures and one could plausibly argue that said team was merely being enterprising and thorough in its efforts to fund a team. Perhaps, but reality's a bitch -- and by the time the auction ended at 5PM Monday, there hadn't been any bids.