Reaching a new low has never made me feel so high and mighty.

After last year’s debacle, I promised myself to never bet on any event with the word “all” and “star.” So I planned to take a week off and attempt to tolerate my in laws. Then a funny thing happened. This article was released.

The Sprint Showdown is like the anti all-star race. None of the driver have won in the last two years. Some like David Ragan and AJ Allmendinger found bad luck. Others like Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Jeff Burton have serious questions about their futures. Then there are the drivers you didn’t even know were still racing. All will come out because the track is close to home. All will have incentive to access the big boy table.

Down a mere fake 160 dollars, why not? There are hardly any drivers to pick. And because everyone assumes Dale Jr. will win, I have a great chance to go in the other direction, play the field and get back up to speed. This has to work…it has to work.

Ten fake dollars on David Ragan at 10/1
That’s not a typo. Ragan had a chance to win Daytona. You can’t do that without horses under the engine. Ragan also has a pole and has shown flashes of the driver who almost made the Chase a few years back.

Fifteen fake dollars on Joey Logano at 8/1
Has any driver had worse luck this year? The race is short enough his engine won’t explode, and he has had success in these quirky formats.

Ten fake dollars on AJ Allmendinger at 10/1
Bad luck. Better car. No clue about the driver. I believe in Ford. Richard Petty Motorsports could use this shot in the arm.

Eight fake dollars on Marcos Ambrose at 12/1
See AJ Allmendinger. Insert different accent.

Seven fake dollars on Brad Keselowski at 12/1
Penske Racing looks like a hot mess this year. But, Kurt Busch dominated at Charlotte last year. Keselowski knows how to race up front with his success on the Nationwide Series. Short format. No lead cars. I’ve done dumber things.

There you have it. I just bet fake money on David Ragan, AJ Allmendinger, Joey Logano, Marcos Ambrose and Brad Keselowski. I even published this concept on a popular website read by NASCAR fans.

Pardon me while I attend an intervention, and insert random catchphrase here.
Dale Earnhardt Jr 3/1
Martin Truex Jr 5/1
Jeff Burton 6/1
Brian Vickers 7/1
Joey Logano 8/1
Paul Menard 10/1
David Ragan 10/1
AJ Allmendinger 10/1
Marcos Ambrose 12/1
Brad Keselowski 12/1
Bobby Labonte 25/1