ALLEGED PARROT-KILLING NASCAR FAN MAKES A PLEA OFFER IN NEW JERSEY COURT

The New Jersey man accused of shooting his parrot because its squawking bothered him during a NASCAR race will make a plea offer next month in a bid to avoid jail time. Alleged bird murderer Dennis Zeglin, who does not look at all like I thought he would look, was arraigned last week in state Superior Court in Morristown on an animal cruelty indictment returned against him by a Morris County grand jury. Zeglin's attorney admitted that his client was drunk when he fired a Daisy Powerline Mod ...

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MAN IN NASCAR HAT ATTEMPTS TO ROB BANK

This one crossed my path somewhat after-the-fact, but in the interest of maintaining full NASCAR Fan Crime Spree coverage, I am duty bound to report the following. On Oct. 6 a man wearing a NASCAR baseball cap attempted to rob a Kannapolis, N.C., Wachovia bank. Police say the man handed the teller a note demanding money. (Take that, big-city snobs who think we're all illiterate.) The man, who did not display a weapon, apparently did the old finger-gun-in-the-pocket trick. He quickly became start ...

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NASCAR CHEERIOS JACKET POPULAR WITH THE CRIMINAL SET

Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans aren't the only ones robbing America blind these days. A man in a NASCAR jacket that had a logo for Cheerios, which sponsors Clint Bowyer and used to sponsor Bobby Labonte, was part of a two-man team that robbed a home in Erie, Pa., last week. A neighbor called the police when the men dropped a television while they were trying to jump a fence in the backyard of the residence. So maybe they were Earnhardt fans after all. The NASCAR Cheerios jacket is proving to be popu ...

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EARNHARDT FAN ROBS GEORGIA BANK

Ladies and gentlemen, it has become abundantly clear that our nation's heartland has fallen victim to a massive Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Sr. fan crime spree. On Friday, Sept. 25, a man in a No. 3 Dale Earnhardt Sr. baseball hat (pictured above) robbed a Bank of America in Lawrenceville, Ga. This latest Earnhardt-related robbery comes on the heels of similar robberies this summer in Memphis, New Jersey and Salt Lake City, as well as even more horrifying Earnhardt fan atrocities in Indiana and Michi ...

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POLICE CALLED TO SETTLE NASCAR DEBATE BETWEEN WISCONSIN MEN

Police were called to an Eau Claire, Wis., residence at 2:30 a.m. recently after neighbors reported a possible fight on the premises. When police arrived at the scene, they heard arguing, let themselves in (Fourth Amendment? What Fourth Amendment?) and discovered four men in a heated debate over NASCAR. The 20-something dudes admitted they had been drinking and were being loud, and reportedly had a good laugh over the whole incident. Police let them off with a warning and asked them to close the ...

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HAMLIN’S STOLEN CAR RECOVERED

Denny Hamlin's Lexus, which was stolen a few weeks ago in a diabolical heist that involved two criminals and an open gate, has been recovered by police in Charlotte. Cops have arrested a future "Maury" guest woman named Tomaceeta Hampton. More arrests are expected. Because if we learned one thing from "NYPD Blue," it's that anyone named Tomaceeta will turn on their own mothers to avoid hard jail time. NASCAR driver's stolen car recovered; 1 arrested (WSOCTV)Related link:D ...

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DENNY HAMLIN’S CAR STOLEN

Good thing Denny Hamlin had those security cameras installed in front of his home in Cornelius, N.C. Otherwise, how would we know that two pretty much impossible-to-identify men in shorts recently walked right onto Hamlin's property through the front gate and stole his 2008 Lexus LS 460 L? Without surveillance video, which police just released, the cops might be looking for men in dress slacks, bathing suits or capri pants.  Calling all cars. The suspects are wearing shorts. Repeat, the ...

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NEW JERSEY POLICE RELEASE PHOTO OF EARNHARDT JR. BANK ROBBER

Turns out New Jersey police did not apprehend the Dale Earnhardt Jr. fan who robbed the Frelinghuysen branch of Lakeland Bank, as previously reported, and have released the above photo of the man they say is responsible for the Aug. 11 robbery.Police might want to start by questioning this individual:The bank teller described the robber as a white male about 6 feet tall and 200 pounds. He is in his mid-40s and has a graying goatee and a diamond-studded earring in his left ear. (Are we sure he is ...

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NASCAR FAN SHOOTS THE BIRD

And we're not talking about giving Kyle Busch the one-finger salute. A New Jersey man is accused of shooting and killing a family pet - an African grey parrot named Mikey - with a BB gun because it annoyed him while he watched a NASCAR race, specifically the Pocono race on June 7. (If you recall, that was a fuel conservation race, so the urge to shoot something was pretty overwhelming, especially if you were not a Tony Stewart fan.)Dennis Zeglin's wife called police after she heard shots and dis ...

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POLICE CALLED TO MAYFIELD’S HOME

You might be a Jeremy Mayfield if ... you've ever had to call the cops to get your drunken former stepmother off your front porch. WCNC in Charlotte reports that suspended NASCAR driver Mayfield and his wife Shana called police Saturday to report that Lisa Mayfield, Mayfield's former stepmother, was trespassing on their property. The Mayfields said that Lisa was drunk and banging on their door. They also claim she threatened to kill them. Police confirmed being called to the property. WCNC's Web ...

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