ALLEGED PARROT-KILLING NASCAR FAN MAKES A PLEA OFFER IN NEW JERSEY COURT

The New Jersey man accused of shooting his parrot because its squawking bothered him during a NASCAR race will make a plea offer next month in a bid to avoid jail time. Alleged bird murderer Dennis Zeglin, who does not look at all like I thought he would look, was arraigned last week in state Superior Court in Morristown on an animal cruelty indictment returned against him by a Morris County grand jury. Zeglin's attorney admitted that his client was drunk when he fired a Daisy Powerline Mod ...

//more

MAN IN NASCAR HAT ATTEMPTS TO ROB BANK

This one crossed my path somewhat after-the-fact, but in the interest of maintaining full NASCAR Fan Crime Spree coverage, I am duty bound to report the following. On Oct. 6 a man wearing a NASCAR baseball cap attempted to rob a Kannapolis, N.C., Wachovia bank. Police say the man handed the teller a note demanding money. (Take that, big-city snobs who think we're all illiterate.) The man, who did not display a weapon, apparently did the old finger-gun-in-the-pocket trick. He quickly became start ...

//more

NASCAR CHEERIOS JACKET POPULAR WITH THE CRIMINAL SET

Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans aren't the only ones robbing America blind these days. A man in a NASCAR jacket that had a logo for Cheerios, which sponsors Clint Bowyer and used to sponsor Bobby Labonte, was part of a two-man team that robbed a home in Erie, Pa., last week. A neighbor called the police when the men dropped a television while they were trying to jump a fence in the backyard of the residence. So maybe they were Earnhardt fans after all. The NASCAR Cheerios jacket is proving to be popu ...

//more

EARNHARDT FAN ROBS GEORGIA BANK

Ladies and gentlemen, it has become abundantly clear that our nation's heartland has fallen victim to a massive Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Sr. fan crime spree. On Friday, Sept. 25, a man in a No. 3 Dale Earnhardt Sr. baseball hat (pictured above) robbed a Bank of America in Lawrenceville, Ga. This latest Earnhardt-related robbery comes on the heels of similar robberies this summer in Memphis, New Jersey and Salt Lake City, as well as even more horrifying Earnhardt fan atrocities in Indiana and Michi ...

//more

POLICE CALLED TO SETTLE NASCAR DEBATE BETWEEN WISCONSIN MEN

Police were called to an Eau Claire, Wis., residence at 2:30 a.m. recently after neighbors reported a possible fight on the premises. When police arrived at the scene, they heard arguing, let themselves in (Fourth Amendment? What Fourth Amendment?) and discovered four men in a heated debate over NASCAR. The 20-something dudes admitted they had been drinking and were being loud, and reportedly had a good laugh over the whole incident. Police let them off with a warning and asked them to close the ...

//more
1 2 3 4