WHY YOUR DRIVER WILL LOSE THE CHASE: RYAN NEWMAN

The first race of the 2009 Chase is hours away. Viva excitement. While 11 drivers ponder the potential of being called champion, Ryan Newman should  think about his next fishing trip. Nobody is going to win the 2009 Sprint Cup. Certainly not Ryan Newman. Here’s why: Dude’s boss is Tony StewartNot only does Tony Stewart get to hang out with Erik Estrada and Carrot Top, he also hangs atop the point standings. A first year driver/owner taking home the title would be one of racin ...

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HAMLIN WINS AND VICKERS MAKES THE CHASE

Denny Hamlin won the Chevy Rock 'N Roll 400, but really, who cares? Brian Vickers squeaked by Kyle Busch and Matt Kenseth for the 12th and final spot in the Chase. Vickers said he plans to celebrate his first Cup berth "Red Bull style," which means that will be Brian Vickers you see hang gliding naked over Richmond tonight with a 12 of High Life under his arm.  Hamlin wins at hometown track (ESPN) ...

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HAMLIN’S STOLEN CAR RECOVERED

Denny Hamlin's Lexus, which was stolen a few weeks ago in a diabolical heist that involved two criminals and an open gate, has been recovered by police in Charlotte. Cops have arrested a future "Maury" guest woman named Tomaceeta Hampton. More arrests are expected. Because if we learned one thing from "NYPD Blue," it's that anyone named Tomaceeta will turn on their own mothers to avoid hard jail time. NASCAR driver's stolen car recovered; 1 arrested (WSOCTV)Related link:D ...

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KAHNE WINS PEP BOYS AUTO 500

Maybe they should run two races in Atlanta every year. In a season full of disappointments - rainouts, low ratings and attendance, drug scandal - the first Labor Day weekend night race at Atlanta Motor Speedway proved to be a pleasant success. It looked like it would actually be fun to go to. When's the last time anyone said that about a race in Atlanta? (Or, for that matter, an anything in Atlanta?)Kasey Kahne won the Pep Boys Auto 500, moving from 11th to 6th in the Chase standings with one ra ...

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DANICA PATRICK NATIONWIDE RUMOR

A source "very close to the situation" told ESPN's Ed Hinton that, in addition to racing Indy cars, Danica Patrick will run a limited schedule in the Nationwide, ARCA and Trucks series next year. I think I speak for all men everywhere when I say, I hope running such a packed schedule still leaves her time to appear pants-less on talk shows.  Source: Danica Patrick to try NASCAR in '10 (ESPN) Related links:Danica Patrick is not wearing pantsDanica Patrick nude?Danica Patric ...

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