NASCAR PROP BETS

I need a break. After the dumpster fire that was Chicagoland, I’m down a fake $325 heading into an off week. I’ve learned when you have a bad run at a table, it’s important to leave the table and get your thoughts together. I’ve also learned how fun it is to visit another table to partake in a different form of entertainment. And since I would rather bet on a WNBA game than a Nationwide race, I offer you the prop bets I would love to bet on if they actually existed.  ...

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LIFELOCK.COM 400 ODDS

It’s time to play the game. Even if I don’t want to play.After my Four Horsemen tribute fell apart like Sam Hornish’s career, I’m now down a fake 275 dollars. And the odds for this week’s race in Chicago stink. Worst odds of the year. Uglier than HHH’s nostril. Check out this schnoz. Now that I can continue the pro wrestling theme for another week, here’s why I have no desire to wager fake money on this race, and how I plan to probably lose another fake ...

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COKE ZERO 400 ODDS

The Four Horsemen.No. I’m not talking about some group from that Catholic school that will never join a conference. I am talking about the best wrestling faction in the history of ever.Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Ole Anderson and Tully Blanchard ruled the wrestling world in the 1980’s. Flair was the franchise. Ole and Arn worked together better than anyone. Blanchard was a better Number Two than Number Two from Austin Powers.  NASCAR now has this faction, even though the four do ...

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TOYOTA/SAVE MART 350 ODDS

Who knew one little shift could shift things around so much?NASCAR’s finest will have to turn right Sunday at Infineon in the heart of wine country, and that simple nuance has smashed the odds like a winemaker with fresh grapes and deadline.  And while I’m down a fake $325 after Denny Hamlin bucked a trend in Michigan, I’m confident this shift in directional turning will turn my fake fortunes this weekend.That’s because it looks like the odds makers may have consumed ...

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AARON’S 499 ODDS

Only at Talladega.Only at Talladega can “Field” have better odds than Mark Martin. Only at Talladega can Dale Earnhardt Jr. be a favorite. Only in Talladega do things get so bunched together  that it makes no good sense to bet fake money on the race.I’m down a fake $300 after Denny Hamlin’s ACL and some dopey decisions from otherwise smart drivers hosed me out of a Samsung 500 win. Desperate times call for desperate moves, even if that means putting fake money on the ...

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SAMSUNG 500 ODDS

 “Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth.”Mike Tyson’s quote rings through my skull like a shot to the eye socket.  Ryan Newman (I can’t believe he won either) has me down a fake $250 in my quest to bet every single 2010 Sprint Cup race.In a bid to avoid getting financially knocked out, I find solace that my Kasey Kahne prop bet worked out. I also find joy knowing that I will never bet real money on NASCAR when/if my pregnant wife allows me near ...

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SUBWAY FRESH FIT 600 ODDS

Math is my frenemy.On one hand, math has me down a fake $200 in my quest to predict who will win races this season. On the other hand, math has me making bold predictions that could earn me gobs of fake cash. On the other hand, none of those bold predictions have worked. On the other hand, I’m optimistic.You know what…math probably sucks, but I’m sticking with it for this week’s picks at Phoenix, site of the Subway Fresh Fit 600. Trust me, you’ll be entertained. ...

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GOODY’S FAST PAIN RELIEF 500 ODDS

Now I know why Vegas is so fancy.For the first time this season, one of my picks actually won a race. As a result of my fake $50 wager, I won a fake $100 for a fake $50 profit. As I was bouncing around in a vibrant victory dance, my wife asked me a pointed yet appropriate question. “Didn’t you lose the first four races of the year?”Yes. Yes I did. One win and four losses still has me down a fake $150. But the feeling of winning certainly mutes the sorrow of loss. And it’s ...

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FOOD CITY 500 ODDS

As a kid, I loved Mike Singletary. A linebacker for the Chicago Bears, the Hall of Famer had a stare that made men wet themselves. Singletary also hit harder than Carl Edwards when he sees anything that rhymes with Keselowski.Singletary currently coaches the San Francisco 49’ers, where he had one of the greatest coaching rants of all time in his very first game on the job. It is that mantra that will dig me out of my winless hole at the Food City 500 this weekend. Why? Paging Mr. Singletar ...

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NASCAR PROP BETS

Now I know what it’s like to be Paul Menard. Well, pre-2010 Paul Menard.Four race predictions. Four losses. Even though this is only for fun, it’s not fun losing all the time. So with no race this week, I’ve decided to try my hat at making the odds. Here are some NASCAR-related prop bets I would like to see at my favorite Vegas sports book. For those wondering, prop bets aren’t as much about who wins or loses, rather how they win or lose. Odds of Brad Keselowski punchi ...

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