NASCAR’S SEXIEST MUSTACHES OF 2009

Dear readers, It's Mike Helton, president of NASCAR (no, it's not) and current title holder of the previous year's "Sexiest Mustache." The fine folks at All Left Turns have asked me to count down the sexiest mustaches of 2009. Here's a look back at "the year that was" with my top-five sexiest mustaches.Fifth place: Tony Eury Jr.If this mustache had legs, they would be tired, because this 'stache has been running through my mind all season. Eury Jr. consistently has one of the ...

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MOM’S NASCAR CHRISTMAS PRESENT

Now that I have watched this video twice, I especially love this woman's reaction to opening her first gift (joy!) as opposed to her reaction opening the second gift (wtf). I think she is really going to enjoy that gift. (The first one. I think she will eventually set fire to the second one.)The ultimate list of end-of-decade lists (BroBible)Updated inside story of Tiger Woods (Furman Bisher)25 greatest MMA knockouts of 2009 (Cage Potato)These people died in 2009 (Screen Junkies)Who will die in ...

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2010 NASCAR SPRINT CUP PREDICTIONS

I’m bored.Like many of you, I work between Christmas and New Year. I’ve done all the work I can do at my real job, cleaned up boxes of photo albums at home and helped install a new bathroom. While listening to my wife advise/nag me about accomplishing these tasks, my mind wandered to the weekends of 2010. I can imagine it now. The sound of engines and Darrell Waltrip will force my wife away in disgust, leaving me alone with my beer, nachos and Paul Menard crashes. It’s under th ...

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WHAT IS THE WATERMILL SCORE?

Editor's note: Earlier this year All Left Turns introduced the Watermill Score, the four-pronged strategy that Sprint Cup teams should follow in order to win a title. In a follow-up story, we showed how winning a NASCAR title is like counting cards. This third post elaborates on the first two, covering why the Watermill Score is important and how teams can use it to affect race strategy.I. Introducing the Watermill ScoreThere is a startlingly basic relationship that almost fully defines the trad ...

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TOP 10 NASCAR WOMEN OF 2009

If there is one thing we have learned since launching this site earlier this year, it's that our readers love the NASCAR ladies. I took a look at our Google Analytics to see which ladies you loved the most in 2009. I ranked them 1 to 10, with No. 1 being  the woman whose gallery received the most hits. Click on the photos to see a photo gallery of each woman. Enjoy, you horndogs. 10. Krista Voda9. Sabrina Simpson8. The women of Kasey Kahne7. Miss Sprint Cup Anne-Marie Rhodes6. Lindsay Cz ...

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NASCAR RETURN POLICY

 My Aunt Holly really got me this for Christmas. 'Tis the season to take your crappy gifts and return them for something you might use. We won't be the only ones hauling a$$ to the mall. Here's what some of your favorite drivers will be looking for with socks, pajamas and gift receipts in hand. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: A clue Here’s a quick reminder of how 2009 went. What floors me is the inability to find a reason why a talented driver with a talented team and ample resources gets clob ...

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BEST NASCAR CUP RACES IN THE 2000S

Over 350 NASCAR Sprint Cup races were held the past ten years. The total range of descriptions can be used to describe them. From total heart-stopping thrillers to nap-inducing parades. Some were historic, had thrilling endings, emotional stories or just meant a little more to the world. These five gave us memories to talk about for years to come. 1. Winston 500, Talladega, Oct. 15, 2000. This race was Dale Earnhardt’s 76th and final Cup Series victory. He is known as the superspeedway m ...

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DANICA PATRICK IS ALL HYPE

Over the last few months I tried to ignore the hype surrounding Danica Patrick while others in the media have speculated whether or not the open-wheel driver would make her way to NASCAR. Last week, Patrick joined Dale Earnhardt Jr., Kelley Earnhardt, Tony Eury Jr. and Kelly Bires to announce she would join JR Motorsports to race in NASCAR.Until Patrick confirmed her intentions I did not think the speculation and rumors surrounding her were worth writing about. I have no problem with her or the ...

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NASCAR HOLIDAY PAINT SCHEMES

NASCAR teams and sponsors don't get very excited about Christmas when it comes to paint schemes. I guess they figure since there are no Sprint Cup races in December, it's just not worth the trouble. In spite of this fact, there have been a few yuletide color changes over the years. I put every one I could find after the jump.   Related links:NASCAR paint scheme FAILNASCAR Halloween paint schemesTop NASCAR specialty paint schemes  ...

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TOP STORY NO. 1: JIMMIE IS THE NEW KING

Jimmie Johnson is the first person in the history of ever to win four straight NASCAR titles. From the “No @#$%, Sherlock” Department, he is our No. 1 story of 2009. What happened?The champ did what champs do. Seven wins. Sixteen finishes in the Top 5. Twenty-four finishes in the Top 10. Johnson improved as the season went on. His team had 1,594 points in the first third of the season, 1,750 in the middle and 1,812 in the final stretch. Johnson was also best when it mattered most. ...

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