TRIBUTE TO THE CATCH CAN MAN

NASCAR’s off-season rule change eliminating the Catch Can Man has caused several teams fits. Many folks underestimate the role of the Man With The Can. Without an extra pair of hands to capture gas overflow and make adjustments to the car, pit crews for several prominent teams have been unable to gas and go this season. Greg Biffle’s team, notably, has been unable to unlock this new puzzle.

While it’s heart-wrenching to see a pit box without the Man With The Can, the legend lives on. He not only expedited pit stops, he played an intangible part on the race team. Here are five immeasurable ways the Catch Can Man will be missed.

1. The Iconic Gas Can Fist Pump



The Catch Can Man was the heart and soul of the pit crew. As drivers pulled away at the end of their pit stops, it was the Catch Can Man cheering them on, pumping a gas can up and down. Ever wonder how Jimmie Johnson has won five straight championship titles? Because at the end of every pit stop Calvin Teague was pumping that empty gas can, spurring the 48 team to the front of the pack.

2. Catching Kyle Busch Before He Says Something Stupid
Obviously, the Catch Can Man wasn’t there every time to catch something ridiculous from spilling from Rowdy Busch’s mouth (like the time Busch said the the wrong girl’s name in his NASCAR award speech), but the Catch Can Man has a pretty good track record. When it comes to preventing Kyle Busch from saying something stupid, it’s a job that only a master technician could do.

3. Tony Stewart Soup Duty

Tony is a notorious soup-sipper. Without a Catch Can Man, experts predict that Tony will set a record for the number of firesuits soiled as soup dribbles off Stewart’s goatee. NASCAR officials insist that in the absence of the Catch Can Man, other pit crew members will have to set up. Sources close to Stewart have expressed concern at the possibility of moving another pit crew member to the soup responsibility. "I don’t think we have anyone else on staff who could catch that much soup," noted a member of the 14 team. "Stewart is pretty careless with his soup sippin’." 

4. Lost Deductions on Team Tax Returns

Jeff Gordon saved over $100,000 on his 2009 tax return thanks to deductions the Catch Can Man caught. The attention to detail required to execute split second pit stops often translates into accounting acumen for Catch Can Men. Without these keen eyes looking over the books, it’s estimated that Cup teams will lose over $1 million from the missed deductions.

5. Deciphering Song Lyrics
In addition to responsibilities in the garage, the Catch Can Man is the resident expert on deciphering song lyrics. Without the Catch Can Man, who will decipher the lyrics to songs by the Rolling Stones, Bee Gees or Lil Wayne? Pundits predicted the Rear Tire Changer would pick up some of these duties, but on most teams the Rear Tire Changer has horrible taste in music.