This column is going to be short, and it has nothing to do with my thoughts on road racing.

About 24 hours ago, my wife and I became parents for the first time. My daughter is clearly a racing fan. She came out crying, much like I did Sunday at Pocono after Greg Bifle ended the Ford losing streak. I’m now down a fake $125 entering Watkins Glen, a course with enough history to make my picks pretty simple.

30 fake dollars on Tony Stewart at 7/2: Dude owns this track. Whopper Man has won here five times. He has the second best average finish at the Glen. Plus, I’m picking Stewart every week until he wins.

10 fake dollars on Denny Hamlin at 20/1: Guess who has the third best average finish at Watkins Glen? It’s not Paul Menard. And while Hamlin hasn’t won at this track, Jimmie Johnson never won at Sonoma. That worked out well for me.

10 fake dollars on whoever wins the pole at ????/1: Normally, I could care less on who wins the pole.  But drivers who win the pole at Watkins Glen has won nine times. That’s a success rate of more than 40%. I can’t see straight, but that math looks awfully good. If Hamlin or Stewart win the pole, I’ll chalk up the extra ten bucks with them. Otherwise, I’ll throw this targeted dart.

You might be wondering what we’re naming our child. I’m still awaiting sponsorship offers from Sony, Old Spice, Pantene and Similac.

Here’s what The Spread thinks, and insert random catchphrase here.

Marcos Ambrose 7/2
Tony Stewart 7/2
Juan Pablo Montoya 8/1
Jeff Gordon 8/1
Kyle Busch 8/1
Jimmie Johnson 8/1
Kevin Harvick 12/1
Denny Hamlin 20/1
Kurt Busch 25/1
Robby Gordon 25/1
Jamie McMurray 30/1
Boris Said 30/1
Kasey Kahne 30/1
Carl Edwards 30/1
Ryan Newman 40/1
Clint Bowyer 50/1
AJ Allmendinger 50/1
Greg Biffle 60/1
Mark Martin 60/1
Jeff Burton 60/1
Matt Kenseth 100/1
Joey Logano 100/1
Martin Truex Jr 100/1
Max Papis 100/1
Scott Speed 100/1
Elliot Sadler 100/1
Patrick Carpentier 100/1
David Ragan 100/1
Paul Menard 100/1
Sam Hornish Jr 100/1
Brad Keselowski 100/1
Andy Lally 100/1
Dale Earnhardt Jr 100/1
Field (Any Other Driver) 60/1