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Anonymous

WHY YOUR DRIVER WILL LOSE THE CHASE: CARL EDWARDS

Posted 09/16/09 at 10:45 AM PDT by Dan_Farkas | Email This |

 
Your driver will not win the 2009 Chase. I have already explained why Juan Pablo Montoya is out of luck. Now it’s time for Carl Edwards to find out why failure is staring him in the windshield.
 
DUDE HAS A BROKEN FOOT
NASCAR injuries are rare. Breaking the foot you use to slam the pedal to the metal is even rarer. Breaking that foot while tossing around a Frisbee is not only rare and awkward, but a deal breaker. People don’t bet on injured athletes in sports. If NASCAR is a sport, the same theory applies. If NASCAR isn’t a sport, then what explains the gun show?

 

EDWARDS HASN’T WON A RACE AND CAN’T WIN A RACE
It remains un-American to win a title without winning a race.  In fact, other than those two wins from Matt Kenseth to start the season, Roush Fenway Racing has a big fat bagel. Plus, Edwards can’t win a race because he can’t do the celebratory back flip because of the broken foot. Edwards winning a race and not doing the flip is just as un-American as winning a title without winning a race. NASCAR can’t be un-American.

EDWARDS DOESN’T HAVE KYLE BUSCH TO MESS WITH
Cue the sappy nostalgic music, but Edwards is at his best when he has a foil. Edwards and Jimmie Johnson had a friendly rivalry at the end of last season. This Kyle Busch stuff was not so friendly but oh-so-golden.

With whom can Edwards feud? The dude who broke his foot? The dude dating Amanda Beard? Edwards needs to go all WWE on NASCAR and hit Tony Stewart with a sledgehammer, and I just don’t see that happening because that's a felony.

Two down. Ten to go. Nobody will win the 2009 Sprint Cup. Especially not Carl Edwards.

Related link:
Why your driver will lose the Chase: Juan Pablo Montoya

3 Comments

Anonymous (not verified)4 years ago

Carl Edwards is a horse

KOJOFF (not verified)4 years ago

Kyle Busch is a crybaby!!!

Carl will hopefully get it together now and if the Pit Crew will get him out a little faster, he will quit losing spots in the pits...

Anonymous (not verified)4 years ago

busch is such a whiny faggot

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